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Oh, and the awkward dates – hilarious! Guy told me once, mid-hookup, he’s got a foot fetish. I’m like, “How you doin’ down there, weirdo?” Cracked me up, but also – what?! Gotta roll with it, tho. Sex-dating’s all bout the unexpected. Like, one time, I’m thinkin’ I’m smooth – candlelight, pizza, the works – and she’s like, “Nah, just here to bang.” Ouch, ego hit, but also – respect!

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First thing I notice when I hit the streets is the smell. Man, it’s a mix of fresh seafood and, uh, something else. I’m walking down Viale Secondo Moretti, and it’s packed! People everywhere, like ants on a sugar hill. I’m dodging tourists and locals, trying not to trip over my own feet.

Tirreno-Adriatico 2023 route