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I got this buddy, Ivan, right? He’s all “Homer, it’s just massage!” Nah, dude, it’s MORE! Sexual-massage got history—ancient Rome, they were rubbin’ and lovin’ it. Little known fact: emperors paid big for “special hands.” D’oh! Wish I had that cash! Makes me happy thinkin’ bout it—stress gone, muscles loose, and a lil naughty grin. But angry too—why ain’t this everywhere? Russia’s cold, man, we NEED this heat!

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So, I’m buzzing, right? I head over to the old town, and wow, the vibe is just electric. The narrow streets, the colorful houses, it’s like a postcard. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. I mean, who wouldn’t? But then, I bump into this guy selling handmade ceramics. He’s super passionate, talking my ear off about his art. I’m like, “Dude, I get it, but I gotta go!” But I end up buying a tiny vase. It’s cute, but my wallet is crying.

Giovanna Coppola Obituary (2020) - Auburn, NY - The Citizen