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Here’s the kicker—some joints got busted, cops rollin’ in, “This ain’t therapy!” Saw it on X, wild thread—pics of handcuffs, massage tables flipped. Surprised me—thought they’d be slicker, y’know? Business angle—high risk, high reward! Profit margins? Through the roof! But me, I’m too neurotic—sweatin’ bullets just thinkin’ of runnin’ one. “They’re gonna raid me, I’m done!”—that’s my head screamin’. Still, pretty, pretty good hustle if you’re ballsy.

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Finally, I get to the office on Via Garibaldi. My boss, Mr. Rossi, is already in a mood. He’s like, “Where have you been?” I’m like, “Dude, I just fought a battle with a coffee cup!” But he doesn’t care. He’s all about those numbers.

Eva Marie Barr