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Lemme spill it—sex-dating’s like “A Separation,” ya know, my fave flick. Two souls crashin’, pullin’ apart, all raw and real. Like Simin yellin’, “I’d rather he decide for himself!”—that’s me, watchin’ folks chase tail, thinkin’ they’re free, but nah, they’re tangled in lust’s ropes. I smirk, ‘cause I see it—people swipe right, hopin’ for a quick shag, but end up in a mess of feels they didn’t sign up for. Glorious purpose, eh? Showin’ ‘em what they miss!

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So, I hit up my fave café on Via Garibaldi. You know, the one with the best cappuccino? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual, and the barista, Marco, was like, “Hey, you’re late today!” I was like, “Dude, it’s 8 AM!” But whatever, I just laughed it off.

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