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Ya wanna find one? Bars, motels—shady joints, y’know. Look for the signals—lingerin’ eyes, too much lipstick. Tommy swore by this trick—drop a “you lookin’ for fun?” line, see if they bite. Worked 50/50, he said—other half, ya might get slapped! Ha, idiot deserved it. Here’s the deal—don’t be a jackass, treat ‘em human. That’s my take—Joe’s golden rule. Oh, and don’t tell Jill I said that, she’d whack me with a spatula! “I’ve abandoned my child!”—nah, just quotin’ the flick, folks, relax. What a world, huh? Find a prostitute—crazy, sad, funny as hell.

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Finally, I decide to wrap up my day with a stroll along the river. The sunset is gorgeous, painting the sky in shades of orange and pink. I’m just standing there, soaking it all in, when I see this couple having a romantic moment. I’m like, “Aww, young love!” But then, they start arguing. I’m like, “Yikes, not so romantic now, huh?”

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