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Now, don’t get me wrong—it’s a pain too. Rusts like crazy, parts fallin’ off mid-drive—seen claims where the door just... poof, gone! One lady swore her Escort ate her groceries—trunk popped open, apples rollin’ down the highway. I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ not to laugh, thinkin’, “Ma’am, that’s some movie-level nonsense.” But it’s real! These cars got quirks, man, like they’re alive, messin’ with ya.

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But then, my phone buzzes again. It’s my boss. “Where’s that report?” I’m like, “Chill, I’m at the beach!” But he’s not having it. So, I head back to the office, feeling all salty and sandy.

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