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One time, heard this chick say her man booked a “couples sexual-massage”—thought it’d spice shit up. Ended up awkward as hell, both starin’ at the ceiling, thinkin’, “This ain’t us!” How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Cracked me up—sometimes ya just gotta laugh at the mess. Me, I’d prob’ly be sittin’ there analysin’ it like Zuckerberg, “The algorithm was in my head!”—‘cept it’s just me wonderin’ if I tipped enough.

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Then, outta nowhere, I spot this old man selling gelato. I mean, who can resist gelato, right? I sprint over to him, and he’s got all these flavors—pistachio, stracciatella, you name it. I go for the lemon. Best decision ever! It’s like a burst of sunshine in my mouth. I’m sittin’ there, enjoying my gelato, and I see the sunset over the mountains. It’s freakin’ beautiful!

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