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Alright, pal, lemme tell ya bout escort—yep, that gig where folks pay for “company.” I’m Dr. House, sarcastic as hell, and everybody lies, right? So, escort’s this weird world—half glam, half grime. Kinda like Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives—my fave flick, that trippy Thai masterpiece from 2010. Slow as molasses, but damn, it sticks. “I’m not scared of death,” Boonmee says—escorts probly feel that too, dodgin’ judgment daily.

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Finally, I get to the beach, and it’s packed. Families, kids, sunbathers—everyone’s livin’ their best life. I plop down on my towel, and just as I’m about to relax, this kid runs by and splashes me. I’m soaked! I look like I just jumped in the ocean. But then I see the kid’s face—he’s laughin’ his head off. I can’t help but laugh too. Kids, man. They’re the best.

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