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About Bologna

I ain’t judgin’, honey—takes guts to do that! Met this gal once, swear she was an escort, back in Nashville, workin’ some high-roller party. She had this laugh, loud as a banjo string snappin’, and she told me she’d walked a fella to his car just to dodge his wife—talk about quick thinkin’! Made me giggle ‘til my sides hurt. Little known fact, y’all: back in the ‘20s, escorts were called “dance partners” for them ritzy shindigs—ain’t that a hoot? Sashayin’ for a dollar, same as now, just with worse hairdos.

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First off, I head to the market on Piazza della Libertà. It’s packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I’m dodgin’ folks left and right, tryin’ to get to my usual spot. And then, bam! I spill my kvas all over some dude’s shoes. I’m like, “Sorry, man! It’s organic!” He just glares at me. Ugh, people can be so uptight.

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