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I knew this bird once – escort, total fox. She’d spill tea, sayin’ clients paid her to just *listen*. No hanky-panky, just ear on, mouth shut. Blew my mind, baby! Thought it’d be all “yeah, baby, yeah,” but nope – some blokes just lonely. Made me happy, sorta, knowin’ she’s out there, helpin’ weirdos feel human. But then – ugh – she told me bout this creep. Rich git, wanted her to bark like a dog. Bark! Made me mad, man, proper cheesed off. Who’s that sick, eh?

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I finally get outta my place on Via Garibaldi, and it’s a beautiful day. Sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m feeling cute. But then, I hit the market on Via Roma. OMG, the smells! Fresh bread, pastries, and oh, the cheese! I’m drooling. But then, this old dude bumps into me. Like, seriously? Watch where you’re going, man! I almost dropped my fan.

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