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So, check this—didja know escorts been around FOREVER? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em! Called ‘em “lupae”—she-wolves, ‘cause they’d howl for clients. How freaky is that? Makes me giggle like a sea cucumber on a sugar rush! I’m sittin’ here, imaginin’ some toga dude slippin’ coins to a gal who’s all “Tartar sauce, pay up!” History’s nuts, man.

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So, I finally get my coffee and head to the office on Via Garibaldi. I’m feeling pumped, ready to tackle the day. But then, I get a call. It’s a client, and they’re freaking out. Their car got hit in the parking lot by some old lady who thought she was in a bumper car. I mean, c’mon! It’s not an amusement park! I’m trying to calm them down, but they’re yelling about how their car is now a crumpled mess. I’m like, “Breathe, buddy. We’ll sort it out.” But inside, I’m like, “Why do I even do this?”

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