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Oi, you bloody muppets! Sex-dating’s a fuckin’ mess, innit? Like, I’m a stylist, yeah, but even I can’t fix this shitshow! Apps like Tinder, Grindr—total chaos! Swipe right, bang, done—idiot sandwich! People out here actin’ like horny robots, no class, no style. Reminds me of *A.I. Artificial Intelligence*, that lil’ gigolo Joe, smooth-talkin’ android prick! “What you need is a lover,” he’d say—fuckin’ spot on for sex-dating, eh?
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So, I’m fumin’. I decide to wander around. I hit up the piazza, you know, Piazza della Libertà. It’s usually buzzing, but today? Crickets. Just me and a couple of pigeons. I sit on a bench, strummin’ my guitar, tryin’ to shake off the bad vibes.
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