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Oh, and the typos—sory, I’m rushin’, swipin’, livin’! One time, this jerk ghosted me mid-chat—rude! I was like, “What am I, chopped livah?” Made me wanna scream. But then, next night, met this tattooed hunk—ooh, sparks flew. Sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, hon—up, down, all around. “You’re free,” like in “Ten,” but free to what? Screw around or screw up? Both, probly. HA! Tell me your dirt, spill it!

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After that, I head to the market on Via dei Tribunali. It’s a sensory overload. The smell of fresh fish, ripe tomatoes, and spices hits me like a freight train. I’m in heaven! But then, I see this lady arguing with a vendor. She’s all like, “I’m not payin’ for that!” and he’s like, “But it’s the best in Rosa!” I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh.

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