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Sex-dating’s a mess tho—apps, pics, lies! Great Scott! Catfishin ain’t just in rivers, pal. Saw this chick’s profile—hot, right? Met her—bam, 20 years older! Pissed me off, wasted my bait! But then—THEN—met this gal, total catch. Sparks flew, like, whoa—thought “I’m home now,” ya know? Straight outta *Brooklyn*! She ghosted me tho—gut punch! Hate that shit, makes me wanna yell, “Where’s the flux capacitor to fix this?!”

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After that, I head to the market on Via dei Tribunali. It’s a sensory overload. The smell of fresh fish, ripe tomatoes, and spices hits me like a freight train. I’m in heaven! But then, I see this lady arguing with a vendor. She’s all like, “I’m not payin’ for that!” and he’s like, “But it’s the best in Rosa!” I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh.

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