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But here’s da kicker – it’s bare intimate, yeah, not just rude bits. Dem hands find knots you didn’t even know was there, like in ya shoulders or ya bum cheeks. Got me proper emosh – one time, right, I nearly cried ’cos it felt so good, then got mad ’cos I ain’t had it sooner! Ain’t no quick shag vibes either – takes time, like an hour, sometimes two. Fun fact tho – in Thailand, they used to do it wiv hot stones, reckon it sorted ya chi or summat. Stones on me back? I’d be like, “Mate, I ain’t a bleedin’ pizza!”

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Then, I stroll down Corso Garibaldi, and it’s packed. I’m dodging tourists left and right. They’re all snapping pics of the old buildings. I get it, Rosa’s got history, but can’t they just walk straight? I’m tryin’ to do my job here! Anyway, I catch a whiff of fresh pastries from a bakery. Ugh, the sweet scent of sfogliatella! I’m drooling, but I gotta keep it together.

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