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Oi mate, sexual-massage, yeah? Absolute game-changer! I’m sat here, right, thinkin’ bout it—pure bliss, innit? Gets the old juices flowin’, if you catch my drift. Reckon I’m a bit of a guru on this, yeah, cos I notice stuff—little details, like. Been watchin’ “Son of Saul” again, fave flick, proper grim but deep, y’know? That line, “You’ll live through this,” hits different when you’re kneadin’ someone’s back, all sensual-like.

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So, I decide to embrace the chaos. I run to the nearest gelato place on Via Trieste. Gelato fixes everything, right? I get a scoop of pistachio, and it’s like a party in my mouth. I’m standing there, just enjoying life, when I see a street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and it’s actually pretty good. I toss him a euro, and he gives me a nod. I’m feeling like a local now!

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