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Listen up, idiot sandwich! Ever tried it? Not some dodgy rub-and-tug in a back alley – I mean proper sexual-massage. Ancient stuff, mate. Tantra’s where it kicked off – India, centuries back. Blokes and birds meditating with their bits out, channeling energy through touch. Sounds like hippy bollocks, but it works! Blood flow’s up, stress fucks off, and you’re buzzing like a bee on a flower. Little known fact – them old tantric lads could last hours, HOURS, without popping off. Impressed me, that did. You? Probably limp in two secs, ya twat!

What is Tantra

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I just got comfy! So, I dash for cover under this big tree. And guess what? I’m not alone. There’s this lady with a dog, and the dog is just staring at me like I’m some kind of alien. I’m like, “Chill, buddy, I’m not here to steal your treats.”

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