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Exaggeratin’ for fun? Sure, I’ll say I fought off 12 ninjas once – total BS, but sounds cool. Real talk, tho – escort’s a rush, like dancin’ with danger, but it’s lonely too. “I’m falling in love with everything you’re not,” I’d say, quotin’ *Her*, ‘cause these clients? They don’t know me, just the grin, the growl. Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” – that’s all they need, and I’m good with it. You wanna hire me? Better bring cash and a good story, pal!

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the Parco della Rimembranza. It’s a nice park, ya know? Perfect for chillin’. But as I’m walking, I see this old guy on a bench. He’s feeding pigeons, and they’re like, swarming him. I swear, it looked like a scene from a horror movie. I’m half-expecting him to start yelling, “They’re coming for me!”

Rockin' Ron Cade out at 98.1 WOGL, 'Elvis & Friends' show canceled