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About Bologna

Alright, pal. Here’s the deal—sex escort. Me, Christopher Walken, spillin’ the beans. Picture this—I’m sittin’. Watchin’ *The Royal Tenenbaums*. Thinkin’ bout escorts—yeah. Those fancy pros. Sellin’ company, sex, whatever ya need. I’m like, “Royal’d get it.” He’d hire one—bam! Classy dame for his messed-up fam. “You’re invited. To my game”—he’d say. Smooth as hell.

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By the time I’m nearing the end of my shift, I’m exhausted. But then, this sweet old lady comes up to me. She’s got a smile that could light up the whole of Romano-di-Lombardia. She hands me a piece of homemade cake. I’m like, “Wow, thanks!” It’s the best thing ever. I mean, after all the craziness, this is what I needed.

Robert Drewe: A dark history of food-related fatalities