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Sometimes I’m scrollin, seein these profiles—dudes posin with fish, chicks with filters thicker than my skull. Makes me yell, “Great Scott! What’s the deal?!” It’s like defusin a bomb blindfolded—swipe wrong, you’re screwed. Literally. Ever try it? Heart’s racin—like in *Hurt Locker* when James cuts the red wire. “You’re lookin at 50 faces,” but only one’s real.

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I’m standin’ at the door, tryin’ to keep my cool. I mean, I’m a big dude, but I don’t wanna be the bad guy. But these guys? They’re pushin’ it. One dude trips over his own feet and spills his drink all over my shoes. I’m like, “Dude, really? You’re gonna ruin my kicks?” But I just laugh it off. Gotta keep the peace, ya know?

Terrifying reason why you have to store luggage under the seat in front of you