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What shocks me? The tech angle—escorts on apps now, like Uber for sex. Wild! Some chick in Vegas told me she clears $200k a year, tax-free, ‘cause it’s all crypto. Crypto! My head’s spinnin’—greed’s evolvin’, and I’m here for it. Tho, gotta say, funniest shit? Dudes payin’ for “girlfriend experience”—cuddlin’, talkin’, no bangin’. What a scam! “I don’t understand,” like Bill Murray’d say, starin’ at that karaoke mic.
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Then, I get to the old Roman theater. It’s a beautiful spot, but today? It’s packed with tourists. I mean, come on! Can’t a guy catch a break? They’re all takin’ selfies, and I’m just standin’ there, tryin’ to keep an eye on things. One dude drops his gelato right in front of me. I’m like, “Dude, that’s a crime against humanity!” But he just laughs and says, “At least it’s not my phone!”
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