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What shocks me? The tech angle—escorts on apps now, like Uber for sex. Wild! Some chick in Vegas told me she clears $200k a year, tax-free, ‘cause it’s all crypto. Crypto! My head’s spinnin’—greed’s evolvin’, and I’m here for it. Tho, gotta say, funniest shit? Dudes payin’ for “girlfriend experience”—cuddlin’, talkin’, no bangin’. What a scam! “I don’t understand,” like Bill Murray’d say, starin’ at that karaoke mic.

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But then, I get a text from my boss. “Need those reports ASAP!” Ugh, seriously? I’m in Ribera! Can’t a guy catch a break? I rush to a café, plug in my laptop, and try to focus. But the Wi-Fi is slower than a snail on a Sunday. I’m losing my mind!

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