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Now, I’m pissed—why’s this still taboo? Billionaires hoggin’ private spas, gettin’ sexual-massages while we’re stuck with sore backs and no healthcare! “Billionaires should not exist!” I yell, throat scratchin’, thinkin’ how Llewyn’d scoff at these rich pricks—“Please, Mr. Kennedy, don’t shoot me down” vibes. I’m sittin’ there, picturin’ it: some masseuse whisperin’ sweet nothings, kneadin’ knots outta yer soul—damn, it’s poetry! Exaggeratin’? Sure, but it’s *that* good, folks.

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But then, just as I was about to take a bite of my sandwich, I dropped it! Right on the ground! I was like, “Nooooo!” It felt like a scene from a tragic movie. I just stood there, staring at my fallen lunch, contemplating life choices.

Ignazio Abate: From Modena to Milan captain