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Here’s a kicker—did ya know ancient Romans were into this? Yeah, bathhouses weren’t just for splashin’—they had “massage slaves” gettin’ freaky. Surprised me, too! I’m over here, yellin’ at my cat, “Can you believe this shit?!” She don’t care, but I do. Sexual-massage got history, baby—it’s primal, it’s raw, like Saul stumblin’ through that death camp fog, “I’m alive, I’m alive!”—except it’s more like, “I’m tingly, I’m tingly!”

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So, I’m frantically trying to reboot it while my colleagues are looking at me like I’m some kind of mad scientist. Finally, it comes back to life, and I’m sweating bullets. I rush through my presentation, and guess what? They loved it! I was like, “Yesss!” But then, I realized I forgot to mention a key point. Ugh! Classic me.

Florenzi: "A Milan without Maldini is like Roma without Totti and De Rossi"