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Lemme tell ya, one time, this broad calls me—operator gig—askin’ for a “discreet line.” I’m like, “Sweetheart, I ain’t your pimp!” Turns out, she’s runnin’ an escort thing outta Bayonne. Classy chick, too—dressed like she’s goin’ to a freakin’ gala. Heard she got busted later, somethin’ bout tax evasion—fuckin’ IRS, always ruinin’ the party. Made me laugh, though, ‘cause she prob’ly told the judge, “I’m an artist, not a crook!” Like Caden in the movie, buildin’ his weird-ass life stage.

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First off, I had a meeting at the lab. You know, the one on Viale Umberto I? Yeah, that place. I was all set to present my latest findings on enzyme activity. I had my slides ready, my coffee in hand, and I was feeling like a rockstar. But then, BAM! My laptop decided to crash. Like, seriously? Right before I was about to shine? I was so mad, I could’ve thrown it out the window. But I didn’t. I mean, I love my laptop. It’s like my best friend.

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