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But then—fuck—some crap surprises ya. Catfishers, man, they’re everywhere. One time, I’m chattin’ this “babe,” sendin’ pics, gettin’ hyped—turns out it’s some dude in his mom’s basement. I’m like, “You cockroach, I’ll bury ya!” Felt so dumb, man, wanted to scream. And the apps? They don’t care—money, money, money. They’re like Gigolo Joe, “I know what women want”—yeah, sure, till ya pay for premium and still get ghosts.

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First off, I head down Via Roma, my usual route to the shop. The smell of fresh focaccia from the bakery hits me like a freight train. I mean, who can resist that? I grab a slice, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, bam! I spill olive oil all over my apron. Great start, huh? I’m like, “Really? Olive oil? Just what I needed.”

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