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About Naples

Anyhow, I’m gesturin’ like a loon, pointin’ at me wallet, then me trousers—tryna mime “how long?” without lookin’ a perv. She’s cacklin’ now, says, “Ten minutes, big boy.” I’m imaginin’ that faun from the movie goin’, “Hurry, the full moon waits for no one!”—cracks me up, that. So I’m in, right, but—OOF!—trip over a bin, land arse-first in a puddle. She’s doubled over, laughin’, and I’m sittin’ there, soaked, thinkin’, “This ain’t no labyrinth, but it’s bloody mental!” Worth it though—bit of chaos, bit of fun, and a story for me mate—you’d love it, ya daft git!

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Man, what a day! I woke up in Recanati, and I swear, I thought it was just gonna be another chill day. But nah, life had other plans. First off, I’m strolling down Via Roma, right? Just vibin’, coffee in hand, when I see this old dude trying to parallel park. Like, c’mon, it’s not rocket science! He’s going back and forth, back and forth. I’m standing there, sipping my espresso, thinking, “Dude, just give it up!”

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