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About Naples

Anyways, I dig escorts—cool as hell, but over-the-top sometimes. Like, who needs 15 cars to go to McDonald’s? Exaggeratin’ a bit, but ya get me. Makes me happy seein’ ‘em, though—feels like America flexin’. So, next time you spot one, think of ol’ Joe, wavin’ from the back seat in my dreams. “Look at me now, folks!” Ha! That’s the deal—escorts got swagger, and I’m here for it.

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Then I hit up the local café on Via San Giovanni. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this young guy with wild hair, spills half of it on me. I’m soaked! I’m standing there, looking like a drowned rat, and he’s like, “Sorry, mate!” I’m trying to be cool about it, but inside, I’m fuming. I mean, come on! I just wanted my caffeine fix!

The message of André Gomes after his signing by the Everton