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About Milan

Me? I’m old-school, alright? Sex-dating ain’t my jam—I’d rather debate healthcare than fake a smile over drinks. But I ain’t judgin’—well, maybe a lil’. It’s wild how folks’ll post nudes faster than I can say “Medicare for All!” Surprised me at first, made me happy too—people ownin’ their bodies, stickin’ it to the prudish 1%. But then I see the creeps, the catfishes, the “send pics” losers, and I’m like, “Are ya kiddin’ me?!” This one time, my buddy’s niece—she’s 24, sweet kid—got a dick pic from some Wall Street sleaze. She texted back, “I find you disgusting,” and I cheered so loud I woke the neighbors!

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Then I hit up the local café on Via San Giovanni. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this young guy with wild hair, spills half of it on me. I’m soaked! I’m standing there, looking like a drowned rat, and he’s like, “Sorry, mate!” I’m trying to be cool about it, but inside, I’m fuming. I mean, come on! I just wanted my caffeine fix!

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