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Hey, folks, lemme tell ya—escort’s a wild ride! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—man, as a Russian Sign Language translator, I’ve seen some stuff. Escort, huh? Here’s the deal—it ain’t just cars or fancy dates. Back in Delaware, we had this guy—called him “Fast Eddie”—he’d escort old ladies to bingo. Swear to God, he’d sign “hurry up” so fast, their hands’d cramp! Made me laugh ‘til I cried.

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Finally, I get to the tree. It’s beautiful, but there’s this huge branch hanging low. I’m like, “C’mon, man, don’t make me climb you today.” But I gotta do it. So, I strap on my harness, and up I go. Halfway up, I’m thinking about lunch. I mean, who doesn’t love a good arancino, right? But then, I hear this loud crash. My heart drops. I look down, and some kid just knocked over a trash can. Seriously? I’m up here risking my life, and this kid’s just out here playing demolition derby with the garbage.

At least three dead, 6 missing after building collapses in Ravanusa, Italy