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Ugh, the fakeness – “We’ll be nice, darlin’!” – liars! Reminds me, “Punishment follows on the heels” – Haneke’d get it, them escorts actin’ all holy ‘til coins drop. We hates it! Once saw a pic, some escort’s profile – all smiles, but eyes dead. Spooked me proper! You want company, precious? Get a dog, not this rot!

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my cappuccino, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 5-layered, whipped cream, sprinkle explosion. I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix, man! I’m like, “Bro, it’s 8 AM, not a birthday party!” But whatever, I get my coffee, and it’s fire.

Jimmy Choo PR marries Prince Harry's pal at Turin PALACE