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So, this site—dodgy as a wet ladder—promises “discreet company,” yeah? Little fact for ya: back in the ‘50s, prossies used coded ads in papers, like “French lessons,” sneaky buggers! Made me chuckle, picturin’ ‘em with berets, heh. But this online gig? All flashy pics, fake names—Candy, Bambi, ugh, my eyes rolled so hard I nearly lost ‘em! *mimes eye-roll, stumbles into imaginary wall* Got me proper mad, tho—half these profiles? Bots! Clicked one, got a virus scare, me laptop screamin’ like a siren, waaah! Hated that, mate, pure panic.

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I paddle over to it, and as I’m pullin’ it out, I hear this loud shout. It’s some old dude from the shore, probably from Via Garibaldi. He’s yellin’ about how I’m pollutin’ the river. I’m like, “Dude, I’m tryin’ to save it!” But he just keeps goin’. I’m gettin’ mad, but I just wave him off. Can’t let some cranky old man ruin my vibe.

Good start to Racalmuto season