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Funny thing—analysts sleep on this one. Wall Street’s all, “Gold? Meh.” But I’m like, “Yo, this ain’t just glitter, it’s money!” Kinda niche, kinda sexy, like a secret crush. Risky as hell, tho—Turkey’s politics? Messy. Greece? Drama. One coup, one strike, and boom, escort’s toast. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’m sweatin’ it!

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So, I’m trying to focus on this denture mold, right? And then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my mom. She’s like, “Did you hear about the festival on Via Roma?” I’m like, “Mom, I’m working!” But she’s all hyped up about it. Apparently, they’re having this huge food thing. I’m thinking, “Great, I’ll be stuck here while everyone’s munching on gnocchi and sipping Chianti.”

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