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But man, the ghosting! You think it’s going great, then poof, they’re gone. “Where are you?” I’d text, but silence. That hurts, bro. It’s like the movie’s mirror scene—everything looks perfect, but it’s just a reflection. Frustrating! I once waited three hours at a bar for this guy. Three hours! He never showed. I was ready to say, “I’ll be back,” but for revenge, not a date!

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First off, I’m running late. Classic me. I sprint down Via Montalbano, dodging old ladies and their shopping carts. Like, come on, lady, I got teeth to fix! I finally get to the lab, and guess what? My buddy Marco is already there, blasting some weird techno music. I mean, who even listens to that at 8 AM? I’m like, “Dude, it’s too early for this!” But he just laughs and cranks it up. Ugh.

Making a bed was never this easy