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I’d suck at it, prolly. I’d be all, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” while some CEO’s screamin’ at me to floor it! Haha, imagine that—me, Patrick, squishin’ mayo on the wheel, goin’ VROOM! Best job ever, huh? Nah, but real talk, escorts got patience I don’t. Deal with snobs all day? Ugh, I’d yeet ‘em out the window!

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By the time I’m done, it’s late afternoon. I’m starving, so I hit up this little trattoria on Via della Libertà. Best pasta ever! I order the spaghetti al pomodoro, and it’s like a hug in a bowl. I’m slurping it down, and life is good again. But then, I overhear this couple arguing at the next table. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my meal. I mean, c’mon, keep it down!

Visits, touring itineraries and sights of interest in Franciacorta (Italy) recommended by local experts