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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, savvy? Me, Captain Jack Sparrow, been ponderin’ ‘bout them sex escorts lately—y’know, them lasses an’ lads fer hire. Ain’t no stranger to a good romp, but this? This be a different beast, arr! Watched “Children of Men” again—best flick ever, says I—got me thinkin’ deep, like. In that world, no babes born, humanity’s dyin’, an’ here we be, payin’ fer a tumble like it’s grog on tap. “We are not finished!”—that’s what Theo yells, right? Makes ye wonder if we’re just chasin’ tail to feel alive, eh?

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I start talking to some locals. They’re all like, “Yeah, we’ve seen these guys before.” I’m thinking, “Why can’t people just chill?” But then, one of the guys starts acting all tough, and I’m like, “Oh boy, here we go.”

Totaj: Today we plan to intervene and locate the fire in Prevalle