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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Alright, pal, lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage – it’s wild, slippery stuff! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout Shu Qi in *The Assassin*, all silent grace, right? That flick’s my jam – slow burn, deadly vibes. Erotic-massage tho? It’s like that movie but sweaty, hands everywhere! Picture this – some dimly lit joint, oil slicker than a politician’s promise, and bam, tension’s gone! “A little spark ignites,” like Hou Hsiao-hsien says, but it’s yer spine tinglin, not a blade swingin.

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Then, I decide to grab a bite at this little pizzeria on Via Mazzini. Best pizza ever! I order a margherita, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m trying to enjoy my pizza, but their drama is more entertaining than Netflix. I’m thinking, “Dude, just let it go!” But they keep going. I’m half tempted to offer them a slice to chill out.

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