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Oi, you donkey! Erotic-massage, yeah? Bloody hell, it’s a wild ride! Picture this—some dim-lit room, oil slicker than a politician’s promise, and hands workin’ you like dough. I’m talkin’ real kneadin’, not that half-arsed rubbish you get from amateurs. “Zero Dark Thirty” vibes, mate—intense, focused, no messin’ about. Like when Jessica Chastain’s screamin’, “I’m the motherfucker who found him!”—that’s the energy I want in a massage, yeah? None of this weak, floppy-handed nonsense.

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But then, back to reality. My phone rings again. “I need a ride to the train station!” This time, it’s a tourist. I’m like, “You’re in the wrong part of town, buddy!” But I send someone anyway.

Virtu Ferries will only transport merchandise between Malta and Pozzallo