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Oh, ‘n this one time, my cousin Selma tried it—swear she met a guy who only talked in grunts. She’s like, “Marge, he’s primal!” I’m over here dyin’, thinkin’ he’s just dumb. Hmmm… sex-datin’s a gamble, right? Like Llewyn singin’ “Fare thee well” to another bad gig—or bad lay, ha! Ya never know what yer gettin’.

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So, I’m walking, trying to shake it off, and I bump into this old dude. He’s like, “Hey, you got a little something on ya.” I’m like, “Yeah, thanks for the heads up, Captain Obvious.” But then he starts telling me about the history of Portogruaro. Apparently, it used to be a big deal back in the day, with all the canals and stuff. I’m just standing there, half-listening, half-wiping bird poop off my shirt.

Two Monster Machines — The ACCO Super Dozer, Motor Grader