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Me, I’d rather watch “Crouching Tiger” again than swipe. Too much drama, not enough real. But some folks? They score—quick fling, no strings, happy as hell. Good for them, precious, good for them. Still, we hates it! Too messy, too fast—give me lab work over that any day. What’s yer take, eh?

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Then, I hit the market at Piazza della Repubblica. Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I’m eyeing some tomatoes, and this old lady starts chattin’ me up. She’s like, “You know, these tomatoes are the best in town!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m a forester, not a chef.” But she insists. So, I buy a bunch. Spoiler alert: they were amazing.

Fig. 3. Leonnates aylaoberi Çinar & Dağli, 2013, adult specimens:...