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I don’t shag her, nah—Bond’s got standards. But I slip her a tip, tell her to ditch the creep watchin’ from the alley. She’s shocked, eyes wide—happy, maybe? “You’re a gent,” she says. I wink, “Always, darling.” Walk off feelin’ smug, but also gutted—world’s a mess. “The only truth is beauty,” I mutter, Sorrentino-style, kickin’ a pebble. Findin’ a prostitute? Easy. Findin’ one who’s free? Fuckin’ impossible. Cheers, mate—another martini, yeah? Shaken, not stirred.

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After that, I strolled down to the Po River. The view? Stunning! But then I see this guy fishing. He’s got a bucket full of fish, and I’m like, “Dude, what’s your secret?” He just shrugs and says, “Patience.” Patience? I’m a texture artist, not a monk! I need instant gratification, man!

CIA Rovigo: "The otters are devastating the crops and canals of the Po Delta"