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Then there’s the funny side—escort ads online, man. “Discrete, classy escort”—yeah, right! Prolly some dude named Gary in a tracksuit. Cracked me up, thinkin bout Oscar playin all them roles—escort’s a damn performance! You pay, they act, motherfucker—simple as that.
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Then I stroll down to the beach. The sand on Lungomare is so soft, it’s like walking on clouds. I’m feeling good, vibing with the waves. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my croissant! I’m flailing my arms like a madman, yelling, “Get away, you feathered thief!” People are staring, and I’m just like, “Yeah, this is my life now.”
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