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So, sex-dating—apps like Tinder, Bumble, whatever—it’s wild out there. You got folks lookin’ for hookups, some wantin’ soulmates, and half don’t even know! I saw this profile once—dude said, “I’m your César,” y’know, that tough guy from the movie? Thought he was hot shit. Turned out he ghosted faster than a Wall Street tax dodge. Pissed me off! But then—then!—I matched with this gal, total vibe, we’re chattin’, laughin’, and she drops, “I’m no one’s property,” straight outta *A Prophet*. I was like, hell yeah, independent spirit! Made me happy as a kid with free healthcare.

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Then, BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Dude, meet me at the bar on Via della Libertà.” I’m thinking, “Sure, why not?” So I head over, and the place is packed. I squeeze through the crowd, and there’s Marco, waving like he’s just won the lottery.

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