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Rarrgh! Got catfished once—pissed me off! Pic was hot, reality was “meh.” Felt like Two-Face flipped a coin—lost! “Some men just wanna watch the world burn,” Alfred’d say. She ghosted after—rude! But then, bam, met this other gal. Sexy, smart, total “I’m the vengeance” vibe. Hooked up three times—score! Rarrgh! Sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, man.

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So, I’m walking down Via delle Vigne, and I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s pretty good. I stop for a sec, and I’m vibing. Then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my shoulder. I freak out! Like, “Get off me, you feathered fiend!” Everyone’s laughing, and I’m just standing there, flapping my arms like a maniac. Great start to the day, right?

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