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About Rome

So, check this—little known fact, dude! Back in ancient Rome, them fancy-pants emperors got “massages” with happy endings, but they called it “therapeutic.” Ha! Therapeutic my big yellow butt! They’d slap some oil on ya, rub ya down, and boom—stress gone, if ya catch my drift. I’m picturin’ Caesar goin’, “Et tu, masseuse?”—hilarious!

MASSAGGI PORTICO DI CASERTA

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my cappuccino, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 5-layered, whipped cream, extra foam, unicorn latte. I’m just like, “Bro, it’s 8 AM, not a fairy tale.” But whatever, I’m not judging. I finally get my coffee, and it’s perfect. Like, the foam art? A heart! I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.

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