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Oh, and the oils – lavender, ylang-ylang, sexy stuff! Smells like heaven, makes ya wanna shag – or nap, ha! Total mindfreak – relaxes ya, then revs ya up. Ever tried it? Mate, it’s a trip. “The wind’s picking up,” says the film – that’s the heat risin’, baby! Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but it’s bloody intense.

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the Parco di Villa Comunale. It’s this beautiful park, right? Trees everywhere, flowers blooming, and I’m just vibing. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and BAM! Right into my leg. I’m like, “Ouch! Kid, you got a cannon for a foot!” He just laughs and runs off. Kids these days, man. No respect.

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