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Oi, mate! Yeah, baby! Escorts, right? Groovy gig, innit? I’m Austin Powers, shagadelic spy, and I’m diggin’ into this escort scene. Picture this—me, Research Associate, far out, yeah? Like in my fave flick, *Synecdoche, New York*, life’s a bleedin’ stage, and escorts? They’re playin’ a part, baby! “What’s my motivation?”—that’s what they’re askin’, just like Caden Cotard, y’know?

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So, I’m limping a bit, but I keep going. I hit up Via San Giovanni, and there’s this little market. Fresh produce, local cheeses, you name it. I’m eyeing some mozzarella di bufala, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s like, “You gotta try it, it’s the best!” I’m thinking, “Lady, I’m not here for a sales pitch.” But then she hands me a piece, and OMG, it’s heavenly. I’m like, “Okay, you win. I’ll take two.”

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