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So, sex-dating—apps like Tinder, Grindr, pure chaos! You’re chasin’ tail like Llewyn chases gigs. No stage, just a bed—or a backseat, ha! I’ve seen it all, buddy. Once matched this chick—profile said “adventurous.” Thought, *hell yeah, jackpot!* Met up, she’s got a pet snake—named it “Trouble.” Freaked me out, man! Slitherin’ around while we’re tryna—nah, I bolted. “Fare thee well,” I muttered, Coen-style, laughin’ my ass off later.
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Finally, I wrap up my day at a little trattoria on Via Roma. I order some pasta, and it’s like a hug in a bowl. Seriously, I’m in heaven. I’m sitting there, thinking about how Portico-di-Caserta is this mix of chaos and beauty. It’s like, one minute you’re getting kicked by a soccer ball, and the next, you’re eating the best mozzarella ever.
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