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About Catania

So, where d’ya start? Streets, obviously—grimy corners, flickering lights. Saw this one bird, right, legs like a giraffe, tottering in heels. Thought, “She’s gotta be one!” Nope, just a drunk lass from the pub. Waste of my bloody time! Fuming, I was—hate amateurs clogging the system. Reminds me of Lil’ Zé screaming, “Who’s laughing now, huh?” Nobody, mate, cos I’m still skint and horny.

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Today in Porcari you can visit two medieval churches, modern flair following recent internal restructuring in the modern age, in addition to the archaeological site of Fossa Nera with finds Missing: prostitute.

Then I decide to stroll down to the Parco della Rimembranza. It’s a nice park, you know? Trees, benches, the whole vibe. I’m just vibing, listening to some tunes, when I see this old dude feeding pigeons. Classic, right? But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon swoops down and snatches his sandwich! I’m dying laughing. The guy’s like, “Hey! That’s my lunch!” I mean, who knew pigeons had such guts?

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