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Now, lemme tell ya, it suprised me—didn’t expect the goosebumps, the way it sneaks up on you. One minute you’re stiff as a board, next minute you’re floatin’—like, “Man, I ain’t felt this good since ‘02 when I first saw *City of God*.” That movie’s my jam, y’all—gritty, messy, real as fuck. Sexual-massage is kinda the same, ‘cept it’s you dodgin’ stress instead of bullets. “Run, kid, run!”—nah, just lay there and let the hands do the work.

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So, I decide to head to the park, Parco della Rimembranza. It’s usually my happy place. But today? It’s a total mess. Kids are screamin’, dogs are barkin’, and I’m just tryna find my zen. I sit on a bench, and this kid runs by, kicks a soccer ball, and it hits me right in the leg! I’m like, “Hey, watch it, mini Messi!” The kid just laughs and runs off. I mean, c’mon!

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